Dear Little Old Lady
I know that you'd like us all to think that you were somehow just acting in maybe a confused, befuzzled way. But see, both Leone and I could tell that you were very unhappy with having to line up behind me at Fanny's Fabrics. And the woman ahead of me was taking a bit longer than necessary to find her Visa card, yes that is true. But you gave it all away with your mild-mannered wanderings and walkings about the till area. And when the second woman came over to help the *next* in line, you cut right in front of me with a carefully crafted innocent look that fooled nobody. Because as you know, very few will bitch out a little old lady in a fabric store.
I mean, do you all take a course in looking like you've never figured out how to stand in a line? Like line-ups are a new fangled invention like thongs or MSN Messenger? Because I'm amazed at the one little old lady who knew enough to find the customer service desk at The Bay, to find it in the basement, at the back of the store. Yet at that point of discovery to suddenly become confused at how to stand in the line-up with the rest of us. She then just stood off to the side at an angle much closer than we were, and she waited. And yes, the woman ahead of me shot me a knowing look as this fraile confused wandering little old lady SOMEHOW distractedly managed to meander right up to the next available cashier.
But at the airport with Julia earlier this month, I saw that whole scene play out in a different manner. See, the one ticket attendant noticed the skipping of the line and walking right up to try and stand ahead of Julia. And the ticket goddess then walked right up to Julia and clearly said she'd help HER at the end counter. Little Old Lady DENIED!
*sigh* And now you've made me take glee in your downfall. And here is the kicker. I am so nice. I am nice to a fault. If you were to ever indicate that you were not feeling well and needed to leave the store rather quickly, I'd gladly help out. I'd get you a chair if you needed to sit a moment. I'd give you my spot in line if you smiled nicely and asked. But if you can have the brain power to pick out patterns, convert the measurements to metric and back again, subtract centimetres to account for a shortened torso on the dress, calculated the requirements for thread, metred out the seam bindings... you can figure out what it means to help the *next* in line. So don't play me lady, Okay? Sheesh!
I mean, do you all take a course in looking like you've never figured out how to stand in a line? Like line-ups are a new fangled invention like thongs or MSN Messenger? Because I'm amazed at the one little old lady who knew enough to find the customer service desk at The Bay, to find it in the basement, at the back of the store. Yet at that point of discovery to suddenly become confused at how to stand in the line-up with the rest of us. She then just stood off to the side at an angle much closer than we were, and she waited. And yes, the woman ahead of me shot me a knowing look as this fraile confused wandering little old lady SOMEHOW distractedly managed to meander right up to the next available cashier.
But at the airport with Julia earlier this month, I saw that whole scene play out in a different manner. See, the one ticket attendant noticed the skipping of the line and walking right up to try and stand ahead of Julia. And the ticket goddess then walked right up to Julia and clearly said she'd help HER at the end counter. Little Old Lady DENIED!
*sigh* And now you've made me take glee in your downfall. And here is the kicker. I am so nice. I am nice to a fault. If you were to ever indicate that you were not feeling well and needed to leave the store rather quickly, I'd gladly help out. I'd get you a chair if you needed to sit a moment. I'd give you my spot in line if you smiled nicely and asked. But if you can have the brain power to pick out patterns, convert the measurements to metric and back again, subtract centimetres to account for a shortened torso on the dress, calculated the requirements for thread, metred out the seam bindings... you can figure out what it means to help the *next* in line. So don't play me lady, Okay? Sheesh!
posted by jenn at 3:33 p.m.
11 Comments:
Gotta love those little old ladies. How do you think they get that old in the first place? Certainly not out of foolishness (or missing their place in line) yet if you said something to her I bet she would have snapped and lost the innocent act defending her right to be where she was. Funny, (although aggrivating when you're the one standing in the long line) post. Anyways, was nice to visit your blog.
Diearist http://deardieary.blogdrive.com
Bananagirl here...
Personally, I would have ripped her cane (or umbrella or whatever she was carrying) and beat her with it until her hip broke. But that's me. Let me to tell you of how i once calmly encouraged an elderly client who was in my care - to "throw herself down the damn stairs if she was so unhappy with her life".
Um yeah.
That's why I"m not in that industry anymore. ; )
Ah yes, my dear 'Nanagirl, it probably is best that you stick to the PhD rather than elder-care.
At this point I will resist the urge to make any comments about both of us needing walkers and canes by the time we ever finish these degrees....
Oh, and please tell me it is snowing out there too because I do desperately want all the rest of the world to delight in the 5 inches of white hell currently swirling outside my window.
Well, I'm not as mean as Nanner. Hey Nanner! [wave] But, I have been know to say in a very clear voice..."Excuse me but I was next in line" at which time, little old lady looks bumfuzzeled again and says, "sorry, I didn't realize."
Oh and as for the snow...I'll trade you the 5 inches of snow for the political phone calls every 5 minutes. Of course tomorrow, I'd want you to take the snow back.
[girlkissers]
In NYC, there's about a 90% chance someone who have told her off, old lady be damned. About 60% chance it would have been me.
And all you nice Canadians think the same sarcastic things as us rude New Yorkers, you're just better with the internal/external voice thing.
Jim
I don't think I have ever been in a situation where "may I help the next person in line" was actually the next person in line. Usually it's like the third or fourth, because they're closest to the next aisle. The next person in line is usually blocked by a candy stand. And, being Iowans, we take it in stride as normal and hope the person who jumped over to the next line ahead of us has to wait for a price check while we breeze out the door.
Huh huh huh. 'Fanny's Fabrics'.
I am 12.
And although the old ladies of the world are immensely annoying, I cannot begrudge them, as I intend to be a holy terror when I am old. Kids will not walk, they will run when they see me. 'Run away from crazy gecko* lady' they will shout.
*Due to allergies, I cannot be crazy cat lady as I would die. I may not have geckos, it hasn't been decided yet.
Old ladies in Canada have nothing on the the old ladies in Korea, who are famous for pushing in front of people in line. They don't feel the need to be sneaky or befuddled. And what are you supposed to say? Not much if you don't speak the language. I kinda miss them.
Laura
Ah, the classic example of what I call the "Me" generation. Silly old lady.
I think about this every day when I'm waiting for a bus, and the elderly shuffle in front. One guy tried it tonight. Rather than have the queue curve, he and another older couple behind me decided to carry the queue straight back, right across the only free bit of walkway.
I got on first though. Must tell you about crazy old bitch on the Leeds bus, but that's too long to recount here :)
Callie
This will not actually have effect, I think so.
site
Post a Comment
<< Home