You give me fever (props to Callie)

So I was just sitting here thinking, if the grad office were a reality TV show - which character would I be? I mean, don't we all want to be the sympathetic fully-realised character? Quite possibly I could be the bitchy one, though. Depends on who you talk to up here. I tend to give death-glares to those who seem unaware of the five or so people trying to write and who insist on chit-chatting at full volume. This one guy was projecting his conversation to the whole office yesterday and I think this one girl was about to throw him off the balcony. What does this all mean? It means I'm trying so so so to finish this chapter. I am but a few hours away - I can feel it. But this damned structure is bugging me. Oh, that and that I think I have a fever. I've been fighting off a cold for weeks, actually. And yesterday it arrived while I was busy looking for duct tape.

Or something like that.

All in all it has made it's little bastard germy way into my life - well, my throat and sinuses to be exact. Although I'm thinking the sinuses are the deal, and the throat is the side-effect. But everything is all muffled and I'm sure I'm driving people crazy with the sneezing and the blowing of the nose. And my voice is all raspy. Which should be interesting as I'll be on the radio tomorrow morning and I hope the raspy comes across as sexy *grin*. I was asked about most important political issue blah-ditty-blah so I went on a bit as I can do at times. S'all good. Yeah, I totally have a fever. I promised myself I could go home once this chapter was done, but then I start thinking maybe I should just go home period. I really really want to send this one off, though and don't want to give myself another pass. You know, there is such a fine balance between pushing yourself and being firm and.. well.. being counterproductive.

Right, the chapter. It's the damned April Raintree that is getting me bogged down right now. As we've talked about when I chatted with Dani, the text can be... difficult to peg down. I think it is a perfect example of what happens to identity construction when Native children are not give positive representations or supportive family structures - in this case due to foster homes and orphanages. I also think that April and her sister Cheryl are actually a single person attempting to come to terms with both their Native and non-Native identities and what society can tell 'them' about what it means to be one or the other. It is just a tough text because April's character spews amazingly self-hating anti-native comments at every turn. And right now I'm having trouble knowing what all to say at times. I have a feeling my supervisor would just tell me to write that - the contradictions of working with a text such as this. Maybe I'll go do that now and see if I can go home then.

Look at me, blog update!