Dear Paper Mate,

So about your pens. I mean, hey, I love them and all. They are all with the good grip and the fun colours and the very nice writing style. Specifically, the new x-tend ones. I really do love them lots.

But here's the thing. The first pack had that whole green-pen-not-working thing. So I drove all the way back to staples. And then the replacement pack had that whole purple-pen-not-working. And I didn't bother to return it. Because I'm sick of driving back to Staples.

Instead I keep the faulty pen, and I write you feedback on your website. I realise you have hired out your customer service to Sanford Consumer Affairs. But their auto-generated email reply was not good. Not good at all. Maybe you could pay me to be your grammar whore.

Best Regards,
Jenn